STUPIDEST. HEADLINE. EVER.

Courtesy of ABC:

Michael Jackson Had ‘Lethal Levels’ of Propofol Before Death

As opposed to the non-lethal levels that normally kill a person.  See, when one dies of something, you can pretty much assume that it was lethal.  If it wasn’t lethal, they wouldn’t be dead.

Just run with “Michael Jackson’s Death Caused By Propofol” and be done with it.

Almost as bad as TMZ’s headline:

Ryan Jenkins Dead — Hangs Himself

Once again.  When it’s reported someone has hung themselves, you can pretty much assume that they’re dead.  If they weren’t dead, it’d be an attempted suicide.

How about “Ryan Jenkins Hangs Himself” and be done with it?  Has society really gotten this stupid that we have to explain things TWICE in one headline?  You see this all the time anymore.  MAN DECAPITATED; DIES AT SCENE.

Anyhow, let’s run with Michael Jackson.

Murray told investigators that Jackson had developed an addiction to the 50mg of propofol he received through an IV every night, demanding the hospital-grade anesthetic he called his “milk.”

Does that send shivers down anyone else’s spine?  His milk? How big is the monkey on your back–

–insert your own Bubbles the Chimp joke here–

–that you’re calling your addiction your milk?

On June 23, Murray said he successfully put Jackson to sleep without using propofol. At 1:30 a.m. on the morning of June 25, the day Jackson died, Murray gave the singer Valium. At 2 a.m. Murray gave the singer 2mg of lorazepam through an IV.

At 3 a.m., singer Murray gave Jackson midazolan, followed by another 2mg of lorazopan at 5 a.m. when the singer still could not sleep.

At 7:30 a.m., he gave him an additional 2mg ofmidazolan. Murray told investigators he was at Jackson’s bedside the whole time monitoring the singer with a pulse oximeter.

At 10:40 a.m., when Jackson still could not fall asleep and after “repeated demands/requests from Jackson,” Murray gave him 25mg of propofol diluted with painkiller lidocaine.

I can’t even make a joke about that.  That’s unbelievable.

Okay.  I can make one joke.  You think the first person he saw at the end of the tunnel of white light was this?

"You make me look like an amatuer, son. I forgive you for sticking it to my daughter."

I have to digest this Ryan Jenkins story before I comment on it.

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